Liars On Your Hands.

Sunday, March 30, 2008

♥ 8:42 PM

in any kind of relationship, there has to be an equal amount of give & take

-anonymous

so yeah, i just got back home from an awesome day.

although did manage to get up for religious class, i still felt alittle exhausted but i managed to keep myself awake in class due to my wonderful classmates and just me, providing entertainment for myself.
AHAHA.
then i was off home to change and meet banu for LEAP YEARS (:

gosh, the movie was awesome & just as i expected, i did tear.

but that's normal behaviour for my extra-emotional self.

the main point for it being so great was ofcourse ANANDA & QI YU WU.

i think ANANDA was superduper sweet & both of them never gave up on the girl they liked.

& that was the part i loved.

ok, i know this is going to sound cliche, but i did learn something from the movie.

'patience pays off'.

yeah, & that's something that i have to learn cause i'm always rushing.

for alot of things and various reasons.

& that would lead to alot of rash decisions & silly mistakes.

but i'm learning, slowly & hopefully it'll make me a better person.

someone who's mature enough to handle tough situations & someone who's strong enough to stay focused & not let her emotions get in the way.

oh and i finally got the chance to talk to banu.

atleast for awhile when we were at starbucks & when we waited for our trains.

i realised that i only left her out of my life for a few weeks & yet there was like soo much to tell her, so much that i wanted her to know.

gosh, i miss the times when we were young & we spent so much time together, just by ourselves, huddled in a room together.

away from the rest of the family & we'd be talking for what would seem like numerous hours.

she's like my everything since we were both born.

i love you banu, you're the best.

and i still have so much left to tell you.

lets just hope we meet up soon.

oh and don't worry, we'll get over this monster called A-levels, together!

yeah, we can do it (:

oh and ofcourse, during the LONG mrt ride back home, i did alot of reflection.

the more i retold the events to banu, the more it made sense to me.

i was at fault, ALOT.

fear, jealousy, stress(for schoolwork/a-levels)

were all the factors that

added on to my rash decisions & uncontrollable emotions

that where shown in various ways.

well, the only thing i could do is apologise.

for putting you through this mental torture,

where i probably confused you.

i guess i just wanted someone to be there.

and i wanted it to be you.

you just seemed so perfect.

once again, i have no idea why?

sometimes, it's just like that, aint it?

i'm no expert but yeah, i just felt it.

& i rushed, fearfully.

thinking back of the stupid things i said on the phone.

makes me feel so awful & wierd & certainly foolish.

maybe that's why you got annoyed.

and that's justifiable.

cause i would have felt the same way.

i just wanted you to know me

& that i'll get to know you better too.

people pushed me on.

they thought it'll make you change your mind.

so i tried, but in the wrong way.

i apologise, but mind you, i still haven't given up.

maybe, just maybe,

we could have one more try.

more slower this time.

and definitely, without affecting our studies.

cause i can't afford to do that anymore.

so how?

if i had a chance,

i'd probably tell you how i feel, all in one day

and ask for one more TRY.

but everythings up to you.

no matter what.

& i don't want to ruin it or spoil anything.

i just refuse to give up, cause i felt something.

but if you want,

i could try really hard to.

gosh, i've actually got a little headache from trying to 'push' all these feelings out.

HAHAH.

but i feel much better.

and school's starting tmrw.

which means homework would pile up.

& loads of quizzes to study for.

so i've got to go.

when you let your heart win.